This Was Actually Written In April.

     It is getting more difficult now.  Possibly because I am exploring the word in much more detail.  Simple is an idea to strive for or a theme to live by.  I'm not yet convinced that living a simple life will be completely attainable.  There will always be complications that arise but through practice, the degree of complication will be less. At least that is what I predict.  I'll let you know what I find out in December. ;)

For now I will:

1. Purge 1 garbage bag full of junk a day
2. Continue to follow the budget
3. Try to be present and in the moment when spending time with my family.  I can get caught up in the pre-planning stages of anything and not be present.
4. Take more pictures.  Lots of them,  Because life is still happening as all of this is going on and one day those pictures will be my therapy. :)

Out Of The Comfort Zone

     Sometimes keeping things simple means giving in to situations that may not seem so simple now.  It might even seem overwhelming at times.  You may have to step way out of your comfort zone for a moment.  I have learned that a little work goes a long way.  With a little organization, elbow grease, and time spent planning, you pave the way for the opportunity for real life to happen.  It is also a much easier to get back on track when these situations happen.

     I finally took steps to fix a dental issue that I have been putting off for years.  A few things prompted me to go through with a gum graft; we have great insurance, the gums began to receed more and more and I didn't want to lose the tooth.  It was out of my comfort zone but I'm glad I did it.  So far so good in the healing process and not really very much pain.

     We recently had a snow day and I rallied the troops to go through the toys.  We went through about 75% and got rid of 4 garbage bags!  That is garbage bags of toys that were broken or just could not be passed on.  The kids were really good about the whole process and very receptive to finding toys they hadn't seen in a while. Especially Nikolas, who I would find lining up his new treasures or just playing on the sidelines.  It became quite difficult to keep him motivated at the end.

     I am thinking my next steps will be more planned out.  I have just been hitting the most troubled spots which is still good, but I need to make a plan.  I also need to get a few projects taken care of and I would like to do them before the Summer.

1. Trim
2. Paint
3. Basement carpet removal/ lay flooring

    I think I will really benefit from this months OLW prompt to list concrete activities regarding my word and how I plan on executing them.  I haven't even printed it yet, though.  That is the plan for tomorrow.....after I have coffee with my friend.  :)

The word lives. It's Alive!

     It's not really alive.  But it has already become second nature to refer to it, especially when situations start to get difficult or complicated.  The idea of simplicity or living simply is always there and seems to show up at the perfect time.

     I am still paring down the stuff in the house.  I imagine that will be a year long process.  Just the pantry alone produced 3 garbage bags and 2 boxes of stuff to give.  I can't wait to get into the storage/laundry room and also go through the kids toys.  

     It is working for my job as well.  The anxiety is no longer there and I am able to do my job without worry.  I am able to ask questions, not get discouraged, stay focused and see the improvements.  All because I'm keeping things simple.

Simple is sometimes not so.

    The opposite of simple is complicated.

     I have a need to feel full.

     But I don't know how.

     So, I search.

     In the past, I have filled my time and space with stuff.

     Stuff makes everything complicated.

     As I am slowly donating or throwing out the stuff that I have collected over the years to help me feel full, I am learning and practicing the art of feeling full without the tangible evidence that I think I need.  Part of that is trusting that I am enough.

     My 13 yr. old son told me today that he liked how clean everything looked and how much more space we seemed to have.  That, my friends, made me feel full.

     If that is all it takes then I am in.  All in.  100%.

   

   

Officially official.

     Something that makes me (I was going to say happy but I realized just then that it was not enough of a description.  I will say everything even though I know that is not grammatically correct.  Just calm down. It will make sense in a minute ;) ) everything is music.  Songs full of meaning and life describe my everything.  If I had to write it down I could probably find a theme song for my.....everything.   Make sense yet?  If not then just stop reading here.  You probably won't get it and that is ok.  In my effort to keep things simple I am going to forgo any more explanation on the subject.

Part of keeping things simple is realizing I can't please everyone ;)

I found a song that explains my reasons for choosing my word.  The song itself was written about something else entirely different but my interpretation fits perfectly.

#41 by Dave Matthews Band
"Come and see,
I swear by now I'm playing time against my troubles, oh"

{This is how I'm getting older but am realizing the importance of being in the moment.  Realizing one just cannot continually put troubles aside to deal with later as, eventually, they catch up.}


"I'm coming slow but speeding
Do you wish for a dance and while I'm in the front
My play on time is won
Oh, but the difficulty's coming here"

      {Personally, when I get excited about a new realization, or an epiphany as some would call it, I am all in.  And I want to rush to that moment.  But often I trip over my own feet.}

"I will go in this way
And find my own way out
I wont tell you what to be, oh no
But I'm coming to much more
Of Me"

{My decision to be present, keep things simple and not worry about who thinks what about me or my "everything"  I am enough.}

"All at once the ghosts come back reeling in you now
Oh tell me what if they came down crushing
It used to be that you and me played
For all the loneliness
But nobody notices now
Oh, begging slow I'm coming here"

{I won't go into too much detail because I'm not there now but in my interpretation of this song this is about depression.  Mine.  It is still there, begging.  But alas, it is just a ghost and frankly, I don't play with ghosts.}

"I'll be waiting
I wanted to stay, I wanted to play, I wanted to love you
I'm only this far and only tomorrow leads the way
I'm coming waltzing back and moving into your head
Please"

{Again, this is depression and lonliness personified. Begging.}

"I wouldn't pass this by
Oh, no I wouldn't take any more than I need"

{The change in music here, to me, is turning the lyrics back to myself.  This very line grabbed a hold of me and wouldn't let go.  Like a rope being thrown to the bottom of the well I was in to help me out. I am enough and will not take more than I need in an effort to make sure the next person gets their fair share.  Imagine a world that lived by that principal?}

"What sort of man goes by
Well, I will bring water
Why won't you ever be glad, it melts into wonder
I came in praying for you
Why wont you run into the rain and play
Let the tears splash all over you"

{Sometimes people just don't get it.  But sometimes they do.  Those are the ones that will help a little, give an extra nudge to get you out of the house.  They also let you know when enough is enough and the responsibility is on you.  They hold you accountable.}

This is why I chose to keep it simple.