It just dawned on me that I don't really think I am enough. It is a struggle to get rid of anything because I am holding on for dear life as if I need it to exist. I realize that it is a silly way of thinking but its like I am having an out of body experience. Every once in a while I have to walk away from the project and regroup because I am feeling real fear. As if letting go of anything will break me. Umm, no. One thing I know for certain is my strength. It is just a process to change a way of thinking that I didn't even know existed. I really AM enough; I am just proving it.
Remember when I mentioned that I was a paper hoarder? Today I threw away bills that were from 1997. That is almost 18 YEARS! WHAAAATT? It really is affirmation that I must do this. I need to follow through. I crave what is on the other side of this mess I have created.
Another realization I had today was that organization makes everything simpler. DUH!
A great read I thought I would share. (Click here ;) )
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Monday, December 29, 2014
Another word.
I didn't document my word last year or the journey it took me on. You will just have to trust me when I tell you that it was a wild ride that consisted of 4 different jobs, an awakening and a new perspective on the direction I want my life to take. That being said, I compiled a list of words that stood out or had meaning and narrowed it down to one-ish. That is a big deal for me as I am usually late in the year getting started and fizzle out by mid-year.
I am pretty sure I started choosing a word 4 years ago but I can't remember the first word. I know the second was perspective and the third was joy. I think the first year may have been commitment but I didn't really commit to embracing it, ironically enough. The latter words have remained with me as constant and recurring themes and have become weaved in my everyday like cat fur on a couch throw.
At this point you have either stopped reading or are saying "enough already. What is your word for this year?" Don't worry, I'm getting there.
The word I choose has to be something that I struggle with. It would be too easy to pick one that comes easy to me like cooking or laziness. The challenge is to use the word to better myself. I must choose something that I struggle with at this point in my journey. The list was long...
I am in the last week of training at a new job. Actually, the job is not new. I worked there before but left it as life started to get overwhelming and I became useless in my everyday. Becoming a new mom for the fourth time may have had something to do with it. In this world we live in we are never good enough, smart enough, fast enough, efficient enough, etc...
A good ....no great friend lets me know everyday that I AM ENOUGH. (I bet that is her word ;) )
I have returned to this job better, more grounded, committed, with a new and focused perspective and full of joy. I just have to maintain the momentum. That is where my word for this year comes in. In a world that makes it so very easy to want to consume more than we need; that tricks us into believing that more stuff will make us feel better; that tells us that if we aren't busy all the time every moment we are lazy, I have decided that I am not going to believe any of that. I am enough and in that I also need to be content.
To get there I have chosen the word simplicity. I am committed to giving away a bag full of paperwork (which I will admit I hoard), clothing, or just general stuff every day until I am down to living as minimally as one can with 6 people and 4 pets. I'm not going full on minimalist but I am going to focus on the meaning behind the 'stuff'. This will include the budget, the way we eat, the clothes we wear, the activities we do, etc...
I hope my family is ready for the ride. lol
I am pretty sure I started choosing a word 4 years ago but I can't remember the first word. I know the second was perspective and the third was joy. I think the first year may have been commitment but I didn't really commit to embracing it, ironically enough. The latter words have remained with me as constant and recurring themes and have become weaved in my everyday like cat fur on a couch throw.
At this point you have either stopped reading or are saying "enough already. What is your word for this year?" Don't worry, I'm getting there.
The word I choose has to be something that I struggle with. It would be too easy to pick one that comes easy to me like cooking or laziness. The challenge is to use the word to better myself. I must choose something that I struggle with at this point in my journey. The list was long...
I am in the last week of training at a new job. Actually, the job is not new. I worked there before but left it as life started to get overwhelming and I became useless in my everyday. Becoming a new mom for the fourth time may have had something to do with it. In this world we live in we are never good enough, smart enough, fast enough, efficient enough, etc...
A good ....no great friend lets me know everyday that I AM ENOUGH. (I bet that is her word ;) )
I have returned to this job better, more grounded, committed, with a new and focused perspective and full of joy. I just have to maintain the momentum. That is where my word for this year comes in. In a world that makes it so very easy to want to consume more than we need; that tricks us into believing that more stuff will make us feel better; that tells us that if we aren't busy all the time every moment we are lazy, I have decided that I am not going to believe any of that. I am enough and in that I also need to be content.
To get there I have chosen the word simplicity. I am committed to giving away a bag full of paperwork (which I will admit I hoard), clothing, or just general stuff every day until I am down to living as minimally as one can with 6 people and 4 pets. I'm not going full on minimalist but I am going to focus on the meaning behind the 'stuff'. This will include the budget, the way we eat, the clothes we wear, the activities we do, etc...
I hope my family is ready for the ride. lol
7 months later...
JOY: Definition - A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.
Here we are at the end of August. I have to be honest with you; I have struggled with my word. Of course I have had many moments of joy, too many to count. It has always been around weaving itself in and out of moments. The struggle I have with Joy is the happiness part.
I know what you are thinking; that joy is happiness. Not necessarily. I believe that joy is always present but the pieces all have to fit together like a puzzle to get to it. For example, there is joy in being physically fit but the 'getting there' is hard and mostly not a joyous experience. Another example, at least for me, is the joy that comes from a clean home. The act of cleaning can sometimes be pretty daunting when you live with 5 other people and 4 house pets. In other words, there is no joy in scooping litter boxes.
What I have come to realize so far is the key to achieving joy is in the journey. Finding balance with being content in the here and now while striving to achieve goals and overcome challenges.
(For some reason I was side-tracked and never hit publish on this entry.)
Here we are at the end of August. I have to be honest with you; I have struggled with my word. Of course I have had many moments of joy, too many to count. It has always been around weaving itself in and out of moments. The struggle I have with Joy is the happiness part.
I know what you are thinking; that joy is happiness. Not necessarily. I believe that joy is always present but the pieces all have to fit together like a puzzle to get to it. For example, there is joy in being physically fit but the 'getting there' is hard and mostly not a joyous experience. Another example, at least for me, is the joy that comes from a clean home. The act of cleaning can sometimes be pretty daunting when you live with 5 other people and 4 house pets. In other words, there is no joy in scooping litter boxes.
What I have come to realize so far is the key to achieving joy is in the journey. Finding balance with being content in the here and now while striving to achieve goals and overcome challenges.
(For some reason I was side-tracked and never hit publish on this entry.)
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Choosing The Word
The word is important. I will have to live with it all year. It should have been chosen by January 1st but that was not possible. I find that the word chooses me, really. For example, last year my word was Perspective. I wish I could use it again I love it so much. It shaped everything from my thought process to how I responded. But alas, I must choose a new word that will change my life. That makes it kind of a big deal.
One word has jumped out at me since December but I am stuck as to where to go with it. Serendipity: A happy accident or pleasant surprise. I first came across this word while watching a movie by the same name. It is kind of a quirky love story where a couple relies solely on serendipitous moments to come together. For me the movie was more of a thriller than anything. Haha. Besides, I am not sure serendipity can be manipulated as it is the effect of something spontaneous. Moving on...
Another word has been been coming to the surface every now and then. It keeps poking its head up here and there like a child playing peek-a-boo. Sometimes the word comes to me as if it is appearing through glitter. I know that reads strange but I will try to find a picture to illustrate that better.
Tonight the word appeared again as I had to leave the computer for a moment and take care of a child with a deep emotional need. He had just gone to bed and was calling for me. I went to find out what he needed and he said he just felt like crying and didn't know why. Well, he certainly called the right parent for that problem. Haha. I have been known to needlessly cry every now and ..... oh, often.
A few moments discussing the certainty of the emotion and we were off. The laughter was rolling so freely. It kind of helps that I have no reservations about using myself in any capacity to cause such laughter, or Joy, as the word presented itself. Whether it means I have to totally make a fool of or humiliate myself, if it causes Joy then that is where it is at.
And just like that I have chosen my word. JOY My mind is so full of all the possibilities surrounding this word and the different avenues it can be used....and the ripple effect it will cause with the people I know.... I think I love it already.
That brings me JOY.
One word has jumped out at me since December but I am stuck as to where to go with it. Serendipity: A happy accident or pleasant surprise. I first came across this word while watching a movie by the same name. It is kind of a quirky love story where a couple relies solely on serendipitous moments to come together. For me the movie was more of a thriller than anything. Haha. Besides, I am not sure serendipity can be manipulated as it is the effect of something spontaneous. Moving on...
Another word has been been coming to the surface every now and then. It keeps poking its head up here and there like a child playing peek-a-boo. Sometimes the word comes to me as if it is appearing through glitter. I know that reads strange but I will try to find a picture to illustrate that better.
Tonight the word appeared again as I had to leave the computer for a moment and take care of a child with a deep emotional need. He had just gone to bed and was calling for me. I went to find out what he needed and he said he just felt like crying and didn't know why. Well, he certainly called the right parent for that problem. Haha. I have been known to needlessly cry every now and ..... oh, often.
A few moments discussing the certainty of the emotion and we were off. The laughter was rolling so freely. It kind of helps that I have no reservations about using myself in any capacity to cause such laughter, or Joy, as the word presented itself. Whether it means I have to totally make a fool of or humiliate myself, if it causes Joy then that is where it is at.
And just like that I have chosen my word. JOY My mind is so full of all the possibilities surrounding this word and the different avenues it can be used....and the ripple effect it will cause with the people I know.... I think I love it already.
That brings me JOY.
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